While it’s not uncommon to have miscommunications between people of different cultures/languages (and also between people of the same culture/language), over the internet, such misunderstandings are more common when words can easily be misinterpreted without other cues to help us understand what the writer is actually saying. Apart from trolls, who are usually very easily identified, most users are writing in good faith and with good intentions. We should keep that in mind when we consider the whole argument. Accusing the other side in being mean or damaging or anything else is simply unfair.
So, before a war over words erupts, try taking the following steps to effectively and peacefully resolve a disagreement online.
1. First, make sure there actually is a disagreement!
Disagreements happen. While it is not uncommon for people to have differing opinions, it doesn’t mean that every differing opinion needs to be turned into an argument.
Reread what the person has written, maybe you have misunderstood something.
Try to understand their point of view and why they have written what they have written.
Ask yourself, are you reacting to what they have written, or how they have written it?
Remember that people express themselves differently and English is not everyone’s first language, so it could be a simple case of incorrect grammar or missing words that turns an innocent statement into a point of contention.
Before you start your counterargument, and without accusing them of being wrong, ask them to clarify any points that you are unsure about. Ask questions like:
“I don’t understand what you mean when you say ____, could you please explain it to me?”
“Why do you feel/believe/think ______?”
“When you say _____ do you mean _____?
Listen to how the person responds, you may find out that you are either talking about two entirely different things, or that you’re both actually saying the same thing, only using different words.
2. If you disagree, try to resolve the disagreement peacefully.
When entering into a disagreement, it is always best to try to remain calm and respectful. If someone resorts to shouting at you (typing in all UPPER CASE letters), using hurtful words, or tries to belittle you, don’t react. By not reacting, you are defusing the situation and are gaining the upper hand in the argument by acting as the better person.
Respect that everyone has a right to their own opinion.
Be the “bigger person.”
Don’t resort to shouting.
Don’t use insults.
Rather than pointing a finger at someone and telling them “You’re wrong” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about”, try to use phrases such as:
“I understand that this is your opinion, but in my experience…”
“I respect your opinion, but I believe/feel that _____.”
When offering your own opinion, first try presenting it as a possible alternative for what the other user has written:
Could it also be possible that _________?
Do you think that maybe _______?
Don’t respond in a condescending manner:
Don’t toss in your credentials to add weight to your argument.
Don’t assume that you know what the person is thinking and start a false argument.
Stick to the disagreement, don’t pick on the person for who they are or how they write.
Reread what you have written.
Is it easy to understand or could it be misinterpreted? If so, try rewriting it.
Continued:
http://www.relationshiptalk.net/3-steps-to...
Posted By: How May I Help You NC
Monday, July 21st 2014 at 4:59PM
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