by Theo McNee
I recently read an article in a popular women’s magazine that perpetuated the myth that women have such a horrible time meeting, as the writer put it, “…serious, moral-minded, quality” brothers whom one could gladly take home to the family compound.
The article went on to describe all the disenchanting types that this sister met in her search for a soul mate, and how she had resolved herself to rejuvenating her search by joining church, which she was certain held more potential for what she was looking for.
In the midst of my reading, I began to mull over the fact that men and women all seem to suffer from the challenges of the proverbial quest to find a desirable mate. Believe it or not, guys have a harder time meeting a true woman of substance than the masses would believe.
Therefore, on behalf of my fellow searchers and other meandering brothers, I wish to also reflect on the types of women we hate to run into on the dating scene
Demanding Diane – brings you a cute card on the second date, and immediately expects your feelings and gestures to follow hers. If she brings you a gift, you must reciprocate upon the next encounter. She has a manual on how guys should act, and she constantly quotes from it.
Clingy Carrie – becomes fastened to your arm after the first date. You cannot and shall not move without her, if she has her way. She has the tracking skills of a bloodhound. She calls morning, noon and night to make sure you don’t forget her, and she can find you anywhere.
Babbling Barb – talks without stopping. She is afraid of the silence, and believes that when you’re not talking to her, you’re probably thinking about another woman. Her constant rattle of non-essential dialogue can have you walking backwards at the end of the night, and relieved when the door closes behind her.
Awkward Anna – is clumsy in manner, and fumbles in conversation. She is very self-conscious, and it shows. She is so unsure of herself that she can’t look you in the eye. Her self-esteem isn’t the greatest and she really doesn’t expect you to like her. She spends a lot of time apologizing for her actions.
Wanda The Whiner – is a complainer who’s hard to please. She doesn’t like anything outside her frame of reference. She’s usually attractive, but after a date filled with “I don’t eat that” or “I don’t do that,” your patience is worn to a frazzle.
Paula The Player – is pretty and knows it. She is also seeing you and at least two other guys. She’s juggling all of us around (schedule-wise) in an attempt to make a determination. She is confused, but she covers it well with a dazzling smile that keeps you coming.
Frigid Freda – has been hurt before and it shows. Her guard is up from the moment you approach her. She practically asks for identification. She’s suspicious, paranoid and determined not to let another guy get too close. With her, you spend an enormous amount of time being tested on your good character skills.
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Posted By: Will Moss
Sunday, February 23rd 2014 at 11:12PM
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